The Times They Are A-Changing, But Not That Much

Following up on Ahab's post...The New York Times may have shitcanned Bill Kristol, but that doesn't mean they've joined the Reality-Based Community. From Scott Horton:

The source makes clear that the decision not to renew Kristol’s contract is not related to his neoconservative ideology—Kristol’s proximity to key Washington players ranging from Bush and Cheney to John McCain (whom he supported in 2000) was considered a distinct plus. His leading advocacy of the Iraq War also added to his appeal.

Close to corrupt, dishonest ideologues? "A distinct plus." Egregiously, shamelessly, stupidly wrong about everything? That just "added to his appeal."

Noel Sheppard of NewsBusters is saying Kristol was fired for disloyalty rather than factual errors, and while he takes the obligatory dishonest swipes at Krugman, he isn't wholly wrong: if Kristol hadn't bashed the Times on the Daily Show, he would still be writing for them.

QOTD: Into the Mystic Edition

Bill Kristol is in a reflective mood this morning at the Times:

Conservative policies have on the whole worked — insofar as any set of policies can be said to "work" in the real world.

Only Kristol could miss the ironies of scare-quoting "work" in the midst of the Great GOP/Economic Meltdown of '09. But speaking of irony, look who's out of "work" himself:

This is William Kristol's last column.

This'll have a painful multiplier effect around the blogs, believe you me.

"Justice"

Bill Kristol, go fuck yourself.

Update: Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Faked Alaskan

Bill Kristol rolls over this morning like a good lap doggy:

As for the campaign, Palin made clear — without being willing to flat out say so — that she regretted allowing herself to be overly handled and constrained after the Republican convention. She described the debate on Thursday night as "liberating," and she emphasized how much she now looked forward to being out there, "getting to speak directly to the folks."

Since she seemed to have enjoyed the debate, I asked her whether she’d like to take this opportunity to challenge Joe Biden to another one.

There was a pause, and I thought I heard some staff murmuring in the background (we were on speaker phones)....

For the record, her handlers overly constrained her from challenging Biden.

Incantation

Shorter Bill Kristol: "There exists a combination of syllables to make John McCain president."

(Moral Clarity)

Actual Bill Kristol:

(What are cherished principles for but to be violated in emergencies?)

Lede Zeppelin

Shorter Bill Kristol: "There's no here here."

Letting It Ride

Two of our favorite degenerate GOP touts here at IIRTZ, David Broder and Bill Kristol, each checks in on the Sarah Palin nomination this morning from the racecourse of presidential politics in his mind. Here's The Dean:

John McCain has flummoxed the leaders of his Republican Party and most of the media by picking Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate. It's a choice no other candidate conceivably could have made -- a typical McCain gamble, unpredictable in its consequences.

More...

Again McCain's utter obscurity and unpredictability is cast, as with every other imaginable Republican flaw, as a feature not a bug: Bold, mavericky McCain goes all in! What a president that crazy son-of-a-bitch would make!!@1!

Kristol too, mesmerized by the cojones on display, is prepared to take a flyer on "the fly-boy":

The Palin pick already, as Noemie Emery wrote, "Wipes out the image of McCain as the crotchety elder and brings back that of the fly-boy and gambler, which is much more appealing, and the genuine person." But of course McCain needs Palin to do well to prove he's a shrewd and prescient gambler.

Just what we need: another "shrewd and prescient gambler" for preznit. For publishing such a line, Bill Kristol should be taken tomorrow morning at dawn to New Orleans' Third Ward and shot in the face with Dick Cheney's shotgun.

The stakes in this great game? Kristol spells them out on behalf of both of our trusty journalists:

McCain has gambled boldly on Palin. If she flops, McCain could lose by a landslide.

On the other hand, if Palin exceeds expectations, and her selection ends up looking both bold and wise, McCain could win.

That's it. That's the full extent of the analysis either of these two serious people makes of McCain choosing a political novice as his potential successor as President of the United States of America: bold move, could help McCain, could hurt McCain.

As for the interests of the nation, the world? What was it Obama said Thursday night?-- a GOP society is a "You're on your own" society. I guess we'll have to figure out the Palin implications for ourselves. GOP touts do odds, not substance.

Oh, and don't forget to vote.

[Changed ending.]

Republican Brandstand

Shorter Bill Kristol: "Tony Snow had a good beat; we could dance to him."

Actual Froomkin:

Snow's passing is undeniably a personal tragedy. But let's hope that no future press secretary takes his or her cues from all those glowing obituaries and tributes. As I wrote last March, in a column entitled The Spokesman Made for Cable, Snow's primary goal seemed to be to "win the half hour" -- which generally entailed out-talking and mocking his questioners, rather than mustering facts and actually staking out persuasive positions.

And despite all his charm, he stoked the pernicious myth that reporters asking questions somehow constituted the political opposition, to be slain in the field of righteous rhetorical battle, rather than being representatives of the public's right to know what is being done in their name.

Slapstick

Shorter Bill Kristol: "And here's my impression of Russert's Moynihan impression."

Happy Memorial Day!

Shorter William Kristol:

Send me dead soldiers for my columns
And I won't forget to put roses on their graves

(At least for one more year.)

Audacity of a Dope

Actual Kathryn Jean Lopez William Kristol: "[McCain] could persuade the most impressive conservative in American public life, Clarence Thomas, to join the ticket."

Like a Virgil

Shorter William Kristol: "I sing of arms and the man foot and McCain."

I gotta say I actually feel sorry for Kristol at this point. This is getting ugly.

Smirkface

Shorter Bill Kristol: "Say hello to my little friend! Grey Lady, meet Michelle Malkin."