Quote of the Day: Beyond Parody Edition

Republican flack (and full-time Palin apologist) Matthew Continetti:

Like a lot of people, as soon as I got my copy of Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue," I immediately thought of the German literary critic Hans Robert Jauss.

Also

Shorter Sarah Palin: "Let's progress the prevention of free-market efforts to protect life!"

Update: As Kevin Drum points out, Sarah Palin really did write and the Washington Post really did publish this op-ed on Cap-and-Trade that omits any mention whatsoever of the concept of global climate change.

sara giv tHem turkee bLud

So over at The Corner they made Turpalin:

Ingredients
More...

One turkey-blood-soaked Sarah Palin video
One honest Byron York post calling the scene "unfortunate"
One segment of MSM-MSNBC "nancy boys" coverage
Two batches of "Sarah and the Vegan Weenies" emails (1, 2)

Prime example: "In Alaska, they have critters that consider humans food. Absent high powered rifles, humans are not at the apex of the food chain in Alaska. That will tend to give people a different perspective than the silk pantywaists in the lower 48."

One piquant bouquet garni of adulatory bloodlust
Too many K-Lo wingnoli nuts (1, 2, 3...)

Mix it all up in Mark Steyn’s crackpot of a mind, cook extremely slowly for no more than 10 seconds, and…voila:

My fowl lady [Mark Steyn]

...[T]hat's Sarah Palin's real stroke of genius in these difficult times for the global economy. For, in an age when the government picks which banks to nationalize and which banks to fail, and guarantees mortgages that should never have been issued, and prepares to demand that those taxpayers with responsible and affordable pension plans prop up the lavish and unsustainable pension programs of Detroit, Governor Palin has given us a great teaching moment and a perfect snapshot of what my Brit reader would recognize as pre-Thatcher "industrial policy":

When the government decides it can "pick winners" and spare them from the realities of the market, everyone else gets bled to death.

Thank you, Sarah. It's the first election ad of Campaign '12.

Serve over the derisive laughter of Democrats everywhere.

Miraculous Exoneration

Surprise, surprise -- Sarah Palin is innocent! According to James V. Grimaldi, blogging at the Washington Post:
More...

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the running mate to Republican presidential nominee John McCain, did not violate state ethics rules in allegedly trying to fire her former brother-in-law from the state troopers, an investigator for Alaska's State Personnel Board concluded in a report released on the eve of the election.

The finding of the State Personnel Board is the opposite of that found by an investigator for the Alaska legislature. He found last month that Palin abused executive power when she and her husband engaged in a campaign to oust Mike Wooten, her former brother-in-law, from the state police force.

Over at the NY Times, Palin's lawyer spins the new findings as if they are an appeal ruling overturning the first investigator's findings:

With regard to the Legislature’s investigation by Stephen E. Branchflower, Mr. Van Flein wrote, "Mr. Petumenos determined that the Branchflower report’s findings that Governor Palin abused her power had no legal basis and that Governor Palin did not violate the Ethics Act as Mr. Branchflower incorrectly asserted."

But of course the second investigation was a parallel to the first, only it was conducted by three political appointees directly under Palin's control.

This is sure to be big news among wingers and other fools, but the timing is about as smooth as the rest of this clumsy-ass McCain campaign. It's impact should be limited to giggles in poll lines tomorrow.

QOTD: Not Sugar-Coated Edition

JMM:

Palin wasn't simply unprepared for intense scrutiny of a national campaign. The woman is an ignoramus of almost unprecedented magnitude in the annals of national politics.

That about sums her up.

Just ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION ALREADY!!

So I'm at my son's soccer game, and I turn to one of the other parents and say, "How do you feel about the economy?" And she says, "I don't really want to answer that question, but I do want to point out that you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig."

Later, I'm at the gas station, and my buddy [Generic Working-Class Hero's Name Here] is fillin' up his tank, fer gosh sakes, and I ask him, "How much does it cost to fill up your tank?"; and he says to me, he says, "Well, I'm not going to answer that, but by the way, it's 'nuke-LEE-ur', not 'nuke-YOU-lur', you moron. You can pronounce Ahmadinejad, but not nuclear?"

Back when Track was takin' the SAT's, see, he gets to the question where it says, "Diagram the following sentence attributed to the governor of Alaska...", and he takes out his number-two pencil and writes between the little circles, "That's an interesting question, but did you know that evolution is just a theory?"

Gwen Ifill: "Governor Palin, do you have any respect at all for this forum, its rules, the American people who want to know what your views and capabilities are, or the serious, important process you are engaged in? And exactly how far up your ass is your head, anyway? You have two minutes to respond."

Joe Biden, interrupting: "...and can you still see Russia from up there?"

Sarah Palin: "Well, you know, Gwen, I'd really rather correct the record on this taxes thing..."

Not Beanbag

I'll say it again: John McCain has put Sarah Palin where she does not belong. It's not fair to the country, it's not fair to his party, and it's not fair to the woman herself.

P.S. Actually it's perfectly fair to the GOP.

The Truth Will Out

Ideally without Novocaine.

Alaska's Most Popular Bumpersticker

Terror Alert!!!

RED ALERT...RED ALERT: Romney, out? Pawlenty, out? Palin, out?

Could the last man standing for GOP VP be Bush's former terror stooge, baby-killer Tom Ridge? Or Bush's current terror stooge, baby-killer Joe Lieberman?

Heaven forfend! Stay tuned right here for more.

Update: It's Palin. Which will seriously ratchet down the wingnut terror level -- she's not just pro-life but a 44 year-old mother of five, including a four month-old child with Downs Syndrome. It's become apparent to me from my regular readings at The Corner, where they've taken lately to accusing Obama of INFANTICIDE in all caps, that abortion is pretty much all they've got.

Abortion is it for conservatives, that is, except for the "experience" issue. With which it turns out conservatives have actually always been at war.