Who Are The Right's Parents?

Via Norbizness, Dennis Prager explains the parentage of The Left:

The Left is now, as it has always been, the child of the French Revolution and of Karl Marx.

That must have been some wild night.

Prager, alas, does not reveal (if in fact he knows) whom the Right calls Mommy and Daddy. Who tucked The Right in at night? Who changed The Right's diapers when it soiled itself?¹ Who got a call from the principal when The Right misbehaved at school? We can only speculate. (In fact, it would be irresponsible not to.) So who do you think they are?

Are they Ayn Rand and Billy James Hargis?

Jefferson Davis and the Spanish Inquisition?

Marie Antoinette and Al Capone?

Clare Booth Luce and Caligula?

Father Coughlin and the Santa Clara decision?

George Bush and Peggy Noonan?²

Post your own guesses, or vote for one of the above, in comments.

Update: Additional speculation posted in comments:
Attila the Hun & Phyllis Schlafly (from Nobody in Particular)
Matthew Hopkins & Lucretia Borgia (from Deborah)


¹For that matter, who changes The Right's diapers now?
²Just kidding. I mean, really--in her dreams.

[That's all, folks]