Gonzo Doth Protest Too Much

I logged on this morning to find Mustang Bobby's pithy condensation of Alberto Gonzales's Washington Post op-ed. Mustang Bobby's analysis:

“I did nothing wrong, and if I did, it was someone else’s fault. Oh, look at the kitty!”

If Bobby will forgive me, I have some additional thoughts.

First, I'll echo Bobby in noting that the title of the piece, "Nothing Improper," just reeks of protesting too much. It's a real OMFG moment when you realize that's the best he can come up with. A latter-day "I am not a crook." Hey, Gonzo? "Yes you are."

I am very struck by this phrase:

I know that I did not -- and would not -- ask for the resignation of any U.S. attorney for an improper reason.

He "knows" that he didn't and wouldn't. Why the extra layer? Why not just "I didn't"? It's like the evidence is so flimsy (non-existent would be more accurate), that he has to instead talk about his gut instinct. "Okay, it looks like I did it. But I didn't! I know I didn't!" It's like a film noir; "Don't you know me? Can't you tell I'm innocent? I am, I tell you, I am!" Maybe the pod people are to blame.

While I have never sought to deceive Congress or the American people, I also know that I created confusion with some of my recent statements about my role in this matter.

By lying.

Now here's a fun one:

I directed my then-deputy chief of staff, Kyle Sampson, to initiate this process; fully knew that it was occurring; and approved the final recommendations. Sampson periodically updated me on the review. As I recall, his updates were brief, relatively few in number and focused primarily on the review process.

During those conversations, to my knowledge, I did not make decisions about who should or should not be asked to resign.

"To my knowledge." Holy shit, that's just wrong. You either did or you didn't. Or you can slither and slime your way through not recalling. But it is not possible to order resignations (or "make decisions about" ordering resignations) without knowing. Not. Possible.

(I believe it is possible that I know I cross-posted.)