iWedge

Cupertino, CA (f-A-ke. P.) -

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

This morning Apple announced a second revolutionary Internet appliance...the new iWedge! Designed to help maximize iPhone profits, the iWedge will assist Apple sales personnel with the difficult task of prying open customer's wallets. Got a potential buyer who's reluctant to fork over $500 for a crippled device that can't even speak WiFi without activation? The iWedge is the answer!

AT&T, Apple's iPhone partner, has already announced plans to purchase 10,000 iWedges for their US stores--an extra measure of persuasion for potential iPhone customers who may be reluctant to fork over thousands of dollars in contract fees. In fact Joey "Tire Iron" Morelli, head of AT&T Customer Relations, expects that the iWedge will be very useful for dealing those pesky support questions like, "How come this brick won't use my existing SIM card?" or "$1000 a year?! For your lousy data network? Are you f*ckin' nuts?!"

(And just in case you needed some technical reasons to stay away from the iBrick, here they are.)