Monday Movie Review: Not

Olympics!

Michael Phelps won eight gold medals. Holy shit. Some of those races were like dreams of what races should be. Holy shit.

Because let's not forget American swimming: Natalie Coughlin is so cute I want to take her home and buy her pretty things. And Rebecca Soni is a Jersey Girl! Yay Jersey! 'I'm from Plainsboro, New Jersey, and I didn't bring a date, but I won a gold medal.' Yay! And Dara Torres!

Guo Jingjing is the best diver I've ever seen. She's like a picture of diving that got all the imperfections airbrushed out.

Usain Bolt. Holy lightning, Batman!

I haven't even mentioned the gymnastics.

But you know what? Women's super-heavyweight weightlifting. Fuckin' A.

So, I haven't actually watched a movie.

Michael fucking Phelps, man.