Monday, November 03, 2008

Don't Cry for Joe the Plumber. He'll Be Fine, Just Fine

Guess they didn't pay him for all his charity work for McCain? He's broke, but still doesn't like Obama's tax policy--this time because it won't be generous *enough* to help all those poor people Obama isn't talking about. And he's proposing to become some kind of "community organizer" or at least personalized nigerian charitable scam in order to "spread the wealth." This is not a parody, and frankly I can't make any more fun of it than it makes of itself. More...

Immediately becoming a media sensation, Wurzelbacher hasn't been doing any plumbing work these days. He said while he is looking forward to the notoriety of being Joe the Plumber dying down somewhat, he doesn't want the newfound fame to disappear altogether.

"Obviously I gotta keep out there to a degree. That way this can take off and some real help can happen," he said. "The federal government is really not going to be able to affect, really, people on a community level, whereas the Joe the Plumber persona, which is hard to even relate to that because I don't know it doesn't feel like me, but if (it) can bring money to people and you know help out" then it will have been useful.

Wurzelbacher said he doesn't want Obama, or anyone else, at the federal level dictating how to spend his money [that he doesn't have] especially when that dictation comes from people whom Wurzelbacher sees as less than generous.

"Americans have always been great at giving to charities. We give more than any other country in the world. Let's direct it here more at home. Obama at the federal level, he is going to dictate and take more out of my pocket and tell me who to give it to? You know I am a pretty nice guy, you know I give to charities, I give to my church. You know, Joe the Biden, what he gave -- $3,000 last year -- and this guy makes millions? Come on, you know, that's just ridiculous." [So, Joe the Biden would be too cheap to take enough money from Joe the Plumber's pockets?]

Wurzelbacher said he knows he is "not speaking for all Americans" but does feel that he has some cause to use his recent publicity to maximum effect.

"The reason why I feel somewhat able to do it is because the letters and phone calls I get, and I get a ton of them. ... Democrat or Republican I am getting incredible feedback. So, authorized by the American people to speak for them? No. But a lot of people coming up to me and saying keep doing it, keep doing it. Civic duty is not a punch line with me. That's how I was raised and that's why I keep doing it."

But charity isn't Wurzelbacher's sole goal. Sharing the wealth also means helping himself. To that end, he's working with writer Tom Tabback on a book about American values.

"Everyone came at me to write a book. They had dollar signs in their eyes. '101 Things Joe the Plumber Knows' or some stupid s--- like that. Excuse me, I am sorry," he said. "You know I will get behind something solid, but I won't get behind fluff. I won't cash in, and when people do read the book they will figure out that I didn't cash in. At least I hope they figure that out." [Because nothing says authentically "Joe" like allowing some guy to ghost write some kind of book product, you aren't sure what kind, with some kind of message, but you aren't sure what message, under a name that isn't even your own.]

The book, called "Joe the Plumber -- Fighting for the American Dream," is to be released by a group called PearlGate Publishing and other small publishing houses.

"I am not going to a conglomerate that way we actually can get the economy jump started. Like there is five publishing companies in Michigan. There's a couple down in Texas. They are small ones that can handle like 10 or 15,000 copies. I can go to a big one that could handle a million or two. But they don't need the help. They are already rich. So that's spreading the wealth to me," he said. ["That's spreading the wealth to me, he said" Yes, punctuation matters. I think that's the cutest line in the whole darned cuddly little essay.]