Democrats have gutted their health care plan of its key components in a bid to placate Republicans and win bipartisan support. Some of the progressive ideas removed from the plan include: Euthanizing your grandmother, nationalizing hospitals, government-subsidized abortion on demand, unlimited free health care for illegal immigrants, and government control of your bank accounts.
With these concessions having been made, I trust that we can now move forward on health care reform with a broad, bipartisan consensus. Blue Dogs and Republicans, you can now rest easy knowing that the concerns of the town hall protesters have been met. While the progressive dream of a nation in which old people are slaughtered to pay for the abortions of ACORN-employed illegal immigrants will again have to be deferred, we are willing to settle for a bill without these measures in the name of bipartisanship.
[credit: Stroszek at The Daily Kos]