The ABCs of Corruption

In the artificial heat of a manufactured scandal during the waning years of the last century, ponderous pundits were heard to ask a loaded question: what will we tell the children?

In anticipation of such time as it occurs to our vigilant watchdogs in the punditocracy that the question might profitably be asked in regard to our Republican overlords, I provide here an answer: a simple guide to the GOP scandals, in the easy-to-read, easy-to-digest form of an alphabet jingle. I encourage parents of small children to clip this from the screen and virtual-tape it to your virtual fridge. Elementary school teachers are encouraged to hand it out to your children. I ask no remuneration for use of the following; knowing that I have provided a public service is sufficient reward.

A is for Abramoff, lobbyist czar
B is for Boulis, shot dead in his car
Cunningham picked up a house and a yacht
D is DeLay, who makes Congress stay bought
Earle is the guy put DeLay in the dock
F is for Frist, who shorted his stock
G is for Gannon, the media whore
H is for Halliburton, ready to score
Illegal acts, way too many to mention
J is for Judy, fresh out of detention
K is for Kidan, who paid for a hit
L is for Libby, a traitorous shit
M is for money, and laundering same
N is for N Ney, whose excuses were lame
O is Ohio, where Coingate rages
Pombo paid family extravagant wages
Q is for Norquist, involved in it all
R is for Rove, who is due for a fall
S is Safavian, procurer for Jack
T is for Taft, whom the voters would sack
U is unheard-of corruption and vice
V is for Vast Right Wing Scam--ain't it nice?
W's the one all his cronies have carried
X marks the spot where his bodies are buried
Y is for you--they all think you're so dumb
Z is the zoo that our government has become