Chattin' with Ma Bell, as warm and friendly as a real mother

My phone is dead. So I just spent twenty minutes "trouble shooting" it with the chattiest, warmest

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friendliest automated voice ever. She doesn't just receive information like "my phone doesn't work" she responds in an incredibly female way--"I'm so sorry to hear that!" she says, sympathetically. Warning me that a technician might need to drop by she asks, discreetly, if "there are any locked gates, or dogs" that he should be warned about? If there are she suggests that I say "that could be a problem" or "that'll be fine." Verizon is deeply concerned about my problem, and they even reassure me that not having two emergency numbers for them to call is really going to be ok--they can work with me. I feel loved and cherished. I know that somewhere out there my robot friend is thinking of me and trying to serve me better.