Saturday, September 13, 2008

Politics? We're Soaking In them

So I go to a new Dentist-- in upper crust, Mitt Romneyville where the Mormon church and the rich people live-- to learn about the reason they need to rip my still unliving cracked tooth from my unwilling mouth and leave me with a gap for, oh, 12 weeks so I will look like Sarah Palin's long lost grandmother even as I'm meeting and greeting and being warden at the election. Plus, ruining my birthday by making me celebrate with mush instead of duck or something gobbety like I like it. And the new peri-dont-ist looks like a tall, sandy, piece of white asparagus but he seems ok and willing to walk me through the process unlike the end-oh-dont-ist who opened my tooth, shrieked, and sent me away without even a kiss or a promise to call me later. So we are midway through the technical explanation for how they "remove the tooth without trauma" which I alertly paraphrase as "you mean, without hitting me with a wooden mallet?" when he gets up and excuses himself to speak to another patient and this is the conversation I overhear from the other side of the partition:

Dentist:
Its bad. Its really kind of scary. But we mustn't panic.

Woman's voice:
We mustn't panic? I'm panicking. This is scary. Tell me what we need to do.

Dentist:
We have to trust that the american people are going to figure it out. Its a nightmare, but we have to believe that the real truth will come out.
Woman, lowering her voice:
"Are we talking about S.P.?"
Dentist:
Yes, the whole family is a disgrace. Her son is an oxycontin user who is the terror of his small town. That's why they had to rush him into the army.
Woman:
You are right. We have to stay calm and watch the state polls, not the national polls.
Dentist:
You are right, Professor...

After completing this discussion and advising her to switch to some kind of miracle water pick he comes back to my side of the partition and I tell him he can do what he wants since we are both democrats. The woman patient gets up and walks past my door and I see its...oh, well, name redacted to protect her privacy.